Java: Slow, ugly and irrelevant
Simson Garfinkel is annoyed that people aren't still writing everything in C. The strongest argument in this article is actually in favor of Java. Garfinkel quotes Philip Greenspun pointing out that programming language choice doesn't make that much difference to efficiency:

"The bottom line is that if you are a skilled-enough programmer and a dedicated-enough person to wade through the docs and learn to use Java
effectively, you are going to be just as effective in any of the other computer languages that people have been using in the last 30 years," says Philip
Greenspun, who teaches software engineering for Web applications at MIT. "If you weren't good enough to program in C or LISP or PL1 or Pascal,
then you aren't good enough to program in Java."

So, as long as you write efficient code, Java is fast, plus it's got lots of features that C and LISP don't. Sounds pretty good to me.